Quite Foul: A Story of Weird Service

Great service is rewarded by generous tips, genuine “thank yous” and smiles. Bad service can certainly ruin a dining experience. And most of the time, we hope, service is forgettable—you get our food in a timely fashion, you have a pleasurable experience, and that is that. But then there are times when there’s no designation for the kind of service you get. I had one such experience in the DC area.

I was with a group of friends, and our waitress, seemingly peppy and friendly, began a silent commentary on some of the items we were ordering. For example, I ordered sweet tea (forgetting they only served the regular brew), and she responded NOT by saying “I’m sorry, we don’t serve sweet tea, but we have natural and artificial sweeteners for your convenience.” Instead she nodded “no” in quick, nervous shakes. I, looking at her askance, said, “oookay, I’ll take regular.”

When she returned to take our orders, I inquired about the beet and potato soup they were offering as a special. I asked, “Is this a cream-based soup?”
She said, in a very hyper “Gilmore Girls” fast-talking kind of way: “Oh, well, usually we try the soup, but today we were afraid.”

Me: “Okay.” [Soup base aside, I’ve obviously already decided I’m not ordering the soup.]

Her: “I’m going to go ask the chef.”

So before taking any other orders, she dashed off to the kitchen to do some forensics on the soup. She came back and said “It’s kind of creamy, but kind of not. But, actually, it looks really good.”

Me [not falling for this obvious act of back-pedaling]: “Okay, thanks. But first I’d like to know why you were afraid to try the soup today.”

Her: “Oh, well, you see, yesterday, the chef made this soup from Peruvian potatoes, and it was purple! And, well, it was quite foul.”

Me: “Foul, okay.”

Her: “But today’s soup looks really good.”

Me: “I’ll skip the soup,” and I placed my order.

Later when we were ordering dessert, she reprised her nervous shaking syndrome when one of our friends ordered a particular dessert. “Oookay,” he said “I’ll have the pie instead.”

Laughing at the experience, we all agreed honesty is valued from a waiter, but that there’s a classier way of saying “quite foul” when you’re trying to steer guests toward something they might like better. Still, our meal was pleasant, and we enjoyed ourselves. And if nothing else, this case of bizarre service was fodder for good cocktail conversation. So, I suggest you pull up a chair, pour a glass, and tell us about a weird experience of your own.

—AK

We Ate the Whole Thing

I was in Atlanta for work recently and had the chance to dine at the newest installation of the B.E.D. restaurant chain, which is located in the boutique hotel, the Glenn. Normally, I wouldn't succumb to such a overtly cheeky trend, but they have beds, which reminded me of a rather fun nightclub in New York called The Apartment, or APT. And there are times, rare times, when submitting to hype doesn't bother me (too much).

My colleagues and I went on a whim, so we didn't have the luxury of dining on one of their beds, but perhaps that was a good thing. Gingerly cutting into a steak while balancing plates and sides on a mattress doesn't sound easy or fun. Still, we enjoyed a delightful meal that included a rather weird twist on a Southern favorite: a WHOLE fried green tomato stuffed with an andouille sausage corn sauce and a side of bacon jerky.

The menu description isn't clear, so we waited for our starter, expecting the small rounds of golden, crispy tomato, until we received what looked like a mangled Granny Smith apple. Naturally, we dove right in. The tomato was bizarre, as it was a bit harder than the soft fried slices I'm used to, but it was still pleasant and refreshingly tomoatoey. The stuffing, on the other hand, seemed to be a mismatch even though it tasted wonderful. The sweet and spicy ragout of sausage and corn seemed like it would have fit better over rice or pasta than stuffed into the green fruit.

The vanilla-braised short ribs with crème fraîche mashed potatoes and haricots vertes was an amazing dish—basically a haute cuisine version of meat-n-potatoes, a combo that never disappoints. Just the right amount of vanilla was used, as it came through in the beef, but didn't overwhelm the olfactories or the taste buds. The mashed potatoes, as you might imagine, were velvety rich, and the green beans were perfectly seasoned and had just the right amount of crunch.

If the notion of eating a whole fried green tomato excites you and you happen to be hanging out in downtown Atlanta, go for it. But much more can be had here—juicy pork chops, excellent filet, and some pretty awesome sides such as polenta fries and cornbread mac n cheese. So while I would recommend trying the tomato for its novelty factor, don't expect it to be the highlight of the meal.

Go to B.E.D. Atlanta:

110 Marietta Street
Atlanta, GA 30303
(404) 222-7992

—AK