Separate Lives

Note from the editors: Every so often, this web site will feature things that we find so appalling that we must smite them with our ire.

The first of these random rants tackles an ad from Philadelphia Cream Cheese. I'll start off by saying that I love both chili and cream cheese. And I'm not opposed to having dairy in my chili, e.g. sour cream or cheddar cheese. But what Philadelphia Cream Cheese has suggested this holiday season is a culinary abomination of mammoth proportions: a block of cream cheese smothered in chili (no specific kind, and really, does it matter?) and cheese.

I can just picture the Director of Food Innovations and the Marketing Manager getting together to come up with something new and delicious for the holiday season, you know, something that a busy family can just whip up for an appetizer while the ham is cooking.

Eureka! Chili-smothered cream cheese! Idea green-lighted. Production company called. Hand-model booked. Jingle-writers contracted. Done.

Speaking as a person who loves to combine food that shouldn't go together (mashed potatoes and corn, for example. Sue me, it's good), I firmly believe that cream cheese should be used in dessert and bread items, and chili should continue being liberally served over noodles, Fritos, and cornbread. But never the twain shall meet. -AK