White Trash Shepherd's Pie

I love the Discovery Health channel. I can learn all about Siamese twins and people born with two sets of DNA all in the space of a Saturday afternoon.

Today, it was all about the Duggars, a religious family of 16 (now 18) in Arkansas. It was both fantastic and also totally infuriating. These kids are seemingly perfect: They dress alike, obediently do their chores, and are home schooled. Even the oldest says of dating, "i want to find someone who will love and care for me, not just get carried away with their emotions (read: just wants me for a hook-up)." The freak-show aspect of the documentary included showing the family driving around town in a small tour bus, attending a convention for religious homeschoolers, conducting church services in their home with another family of 10, taking turns to use the house's two bathrooms, and—the best—shopping for groceries.

The eight oldest children and parents (mom's pregnant with No. 15 in this taping) remove two bench seats from the minivan to accommodate the groceries and then pile in and head to Sam's. Five or six shopping carts  ("We're going to need a flat of peas, too.") and $800 later, the Duggars head back home to stock the pantry. Ah, the pantry. If their "pantry" was in my house, I might call it an "enormous walk-in closet" or a "spare bedroom." This thing was insane. It was stocked immaculately with flat after flat of canned goods and hundreds of other packaged goods, probably full of trans fats and preservatives. Though I got a glimpse into their culinary lifestyle, I still wasn't sure what kind of things they ate on a regular basis. Certainly, a family that huge had to have a few mainstays that Momma serves up when there's a time crunch.

And then I learned all about "One of Daddy's Favorites!": tater tot casserole (or TTC).

Now, I'm the last person to dis the frozen treats—mini pizza bagels, hot pockets—they all have their place. But for cryin' out loud, God did not invent tots for the purpose of a casserole. But I soldiered on through the rest of the show, as the narrator promised to share the recipe. Here goes (keep in mind this is for a family of 16): three 2lb bags of tots, two pounds ground turkey (?), two cans cream of mushroom, two cans cream of chicken, and two cans evaporated milk. Layer meat at the bottom of the pan, mix the soup and milk together, pour the soup and milk mixture on top of the meat, and bake for an hour at 350. Easy. (Oh, and really disgusting and terribly unhealthy for an army of growing children.)

Still curious about this atrocity of a casserole, I Googled it, and found that this is not just a Duggar anomaly; it's celebrated on numerous recipe sites, many with varying ingredients. Some include sour cream. Some throw in Worcestershire sauce. Others like corn flakes (!). I've enjoyed trashy casserole after trashy casserole and loved 'em, but TTC takes the idea of a quick dinner to a very dangerous place. —AK